A better way to stay slim
Many of you have probably heard of “The Atkins Diet”, which promotes weight loss by eliminating carbs from ones daily caloric intake. Others of you may be fans of the Zone, which balances carbs, fats and proteins into “blocs”, therefore balancing ones consumption. Fatkins challenges both these diets, and allows you to stay as slim as I am. Fatkins is my diet, the “all carb diet”. That means you minimize intake from the rest of the food groups and try to focus all your attention on food from the Carbohydrate (grain) section of the food pyramid. There’s a reason its the base!

But Fatkins isn’t just a diet, its a lifestyle. You can’t expect to be slender by eating straight carbs all the time. We eat carbs for a reason: carbs fuel your energy. This energy is used for the daily routines of one following the Fatkins diet:
1) Doing at least 100 pushups per day.
2) Yelling at people from your car.
3) Acting better than everyone else.
4) Facing Fear (This includes interacting with the opposite sex, jumping off high places, doing flips, enduring pain, etc.)
5) Sleeping until 1 in the afternoon.
6) Some form of cardio-activity for a good portion of your day.
7) Watch TV or sit in front of the Computer for at least 2 hours each day.

Suplementally, one eats a pint of either Ben and Jerry’s, Hagen Daaz, or Breyers per evening before bed. This promotes…. um, better sleeping habits? If Colin does it, it must do something beneficial for you.

Key ingrediants in the Fatkins meals include Cereal, Sandwiches (with as little veggies as possible), Pasta, Pizza, Bacon, Any preparation of Potato, Tofu, Croissants, Bagels w/ cream cheese. High sugar items, such as doughnuts, are highly desireable both for their amazing taste and their enhanced energy rushes. Make sure to have an ample supply of such items so as to keep yourself energised throughout the day. Acceptable fast food for the Fatkins diet includes any restaurant that serves french fries. Power smoothies with high sugar contents are also highly beneficial. Dietary supplements include the amino acid Lycine, and Liver. These can be aqquired at any GNC type store.

If you begin to feel the need for a detox, a quart of Odwalla carrot juice is the only acceptable choice because of its high sugar content.

I’ve studied and lived this diet all my life, and have never broken 180 lbs on my 6′2″ frame. Needless to say, if you follow the directions above, you can be a yapper too.

Side effects include reduced quality of vision, and back parasites. (jk)

Technorati Tags: 100 pushups, atkins diet, carbs, daily caloric intake, diet, fatkins diet, food groups, food pyramid, hagen daaz, sleeping habits

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